'Keeping it fresh'... and stressing nonetheless

So it's day 4 of my new lifestyle and i am already overwhelmed. i set my goals for the week on monday, and i am doing well so far. but as much as i try to tell myself not to focus on the scale, i can't help it. after about twenty years of dieting, i've been conditioned to rate the successfulness of a diet and exercise program by the number on the scale.

i have told the world (well, at least youtube's weight loss community) what my goals are. only one of them involved weight, and yet, as i continue to fulfill the others, the only thing going thru my mind is, "after all of this vlogging about what my new plan is and what my new approach is, i can't have a bad first weigh in". I want to focus more on gradual changes to a healthy lifestyle rather than rapid pound loss, and yet that little nagging voice in my head continues to stress about that giant digital number i'll see blaring up at me from between my pedicured toes come monday morning.

"don't stress, just keep it fresh", my new motto, is already being drowned out by the blaringly loud inner voice of self doubt and worry: "will i be able to practice what i preach?", "is what i preach even worth practicing?"

i am so happy to see the successes of my new online weight loss partners. i excitedly watch their update videos. i cheer them on. I learn from them. And yet, when i checked my diary today, i saw that 242 people had viewed my starting weight and goals video and my anxiety skyrocketed. ...what have i gotten myself into?

two of the ladies even gave me shout outs in their videos and links to my channel in the side bar. i was literally moved to tears to find out that i had been able to encourage or inspire someone, when i was just taking my first baby steps on my own journey. i love the encouragement, support and motivation that i receive from each of the people i am subscribed to. i appreciate each one of them in a different way.

i only hope that i can be as much help to them as they have already been to me.

.....yeah, no pressure or anything... ;0)