As long as I can remember I have suffered from depression during the winter months. It wasn't too much of a problem when I was growing up outside of Houston, TX. True, winters were dark, gloomy, cold and wet, but they were short. Plus I lived close to the water, close to the city, close to my family and friends. I moved farther north a few years back. Although the weather is way better than Houston's most of the year, most of my local friends live over an hour away and these longer winters landlocked in the mountains have been doing me in.
I had been looking forward to my South America vacation, only to have it tainted by a wicked stomach virus and altitude sickness. The surroundings and the company was so enjoyable that I tried to be a trooper, but i wasn't feeling well at all and spent several days on a liquid diet. I was even more depressed to come back after a vacation with family to cold, dark, rainy surroundings.
I realized this week just how much of an emotional eater that i am. I've eaten fast food, junk food and candy for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks for days now. I have gone to bed ridiculously late and taking long naps during the day. I have not exercised or had nearly enough water. I have been completely unmotivated to do anything at all since i got back. My room was so cluttered, it took me three times as long to do the most basic of daily tasks, simply because i couldn't find anything.
After over a week of living like this, i decided i had to regain control of my own life, fight against the crashing waves of depression and not simply allow myself to drown in them. True, it's not something that is just going to go away on its own. But i can control how i respond to it to some degree. I can fight back. And i will.
I'm refocusing on the basics- healthy food choices, water, exercise, rest and blogging. I took yesterday afternoon and completely cleaned my room. I started fresh today. I'm gonna make it through this winter, one choice at a time. And it makes a world of difference to know that I have your support along the way.
CHECK OUT THE RELATED VLOG "CRY FOR HELP" here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64qyd6BMREA
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I know it's hard to survive the winter when it's all dark and rainy and all you want to do is sleep, but we must get through it because the other three seasons are so beautiful that it's worth to get through winter to realize the beauty of other seasons. I'm sure you have something to look forward these days, be happy about it, there are many great stuff around us when we notice them and stop burying ourselves in the negative. Yes it's bad luck that you got sick on your vacation, but it's great that you got well now and that you can focus on your overall health and make yourself healthier day by day. Make this new beginning a good one :)
ReplyDeletethanks so much for you beautiful words of encouragement!!
ReplyDeleteI am not usually a slug-a-bed but *I* slept most of yesterday too! It is dark and rainy here lately -- at least our weekend days sometimes are sunny but the rest of the week it just pours, and pours. I was searching around for recipe ideas using feta and mushrooms and so on, and happened on your Foodie Overhaul blog, and then over to here. You are a lovely person, and maybe it will help you to remember that as long as we are alive, we have the chance every day, to start fresh! So it's not about what we DID, it's about what we are doing now. You've already inspired me!!!
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